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Listen Up! When a topic comes up for the third time in as many days, I know I'd better pay
attention. So when the question of "listening" was raised by a client, a reader of this newsletter, and a potential new client, I figured it was time to write a column about listening as a leadership tool. We hear plenty about how good communication is one of the key attributes of leadership, but most of the discussion focuses on how the leader speaks to his followers - think "executive communication" and you'll probably
conjure up an image of the boss addressing his board, or talking informally at a "town hall" meeting of his employees. Of course we all know that old saw about how listening is half of communicating, but even so the art of listening tends to get short shrift. Maybe that's because for many extraverted leaders it's harder to listen than it is to speak. A dictionary definition of "listen" goes like this: "to make an effort to hear something; to pay attention."
Listening, then, as distinct from hearing, is an intentional act, something you have to attend to or it won't happen. Or, as the composer Stravinsky said, "To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit. A duck hears also." Living and acting with intention is a critical part of managing oneself, and it's one of the things that sets real leaders apart. Listening, then, must always be done purposefully,
whether the purpose is to learn, to understand, or to create connection. Listening should occur in the spirit of curiosity, which demands an open mind. An open heart doesn't hurt, either. Listening is a choice that we make to go beyond hearing, beyond argument, and beyond ourselves. Maybe one reason so many leaders don't really listen is that they are afraid of what
they might hear. People might ask them to do things they are powerless to do. Or, people might ask them to do things they don't want to do. Or, people might tell them stories that conflict with their view of the world. Or, people might ask them to change their view of the world. Listening can be a pretty dangerous act! It takes courage to listen, and sometimes it takes courage not to answer. Sometimes just listening is the
necessary and sufficient response to the need of others to be heard and understood. Listening, like the other parts of communication, happens simultaneously at many levels. When you listen to what others say, you're paying attention to more than their words. What are the stories they are telling you? What are the foundations of those stories, their underlying beliefs about themselves and the world? What matters to
them, and why? What do they know about? What mood do they live in? What are their fears, their hopes, their dreams? To listen is to attend to all these things, and because these are the things that move people to act, listening for them is an act of leadership. Finally, listening to yourself is the way you build and exercise self-awareness, necessary to living and leading with authenticity. Learning to turn your listening ear
inward so that you listen to your own stories, your own beliefs, your own hopes and fears is essential if you want to connect with the people you aspire to lead. At the same time, you have to know when to turn the volume down on your own stuff so you can listen to others without all that static on the line. So listening is much more than half of communicating - it's really the lion's share.
Develop a strong listening practice and your effectiveness as a communicator will grow exponentially. Listening is key to leadership, and the good news is you can learn to listen more skillfully. But you don't have to do it all on your own; let's talk about how coaching can support you. Call (410)626-6008, or email info@bloomfieldassociates.com.
To help you learn how to listen at a deeper level, enlist the aid of your body - and the body language of an engaged listener. Remember a time when you were completely enthralled by what someone else was telling you - you might have to go all the way back to kindergarten! Now, notice how you are holding your body, and try to recreate this body language as you practice listening to a colleague or friend. - Stop talking - use your ears, not your mouth.
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Lean in toward the speaker, and nod in acknowledgment of what they are saying.
- Look interested - and don't doodle, shuffle papers, tap a pencil or your foot.
- Don't interrupt with words or gestures.
How did that feel? Debrief your partner and yourself on the listening experience you just had. |
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Although two-thirds of workers are expected to write business e-mails, proposals and other correspondence, only one-third are able to do so in "clear, logical prose," according to the National Commission on Writing, which surveyed 120 American corporations and 50 state government institutions. More than three-quarters of senior executives and managers report having an hour or less as the longest stretch of uninterrupted time in the course of a typical workday,
according to a nationwide survey. More than a quarter of executives and managers have less than a half hour of uninterrupted time. While 95% of executives and managers keep a list of things to do during the workday, 99% of them do not complete the tasks on those lists. 
Splog
A fake blog created by spammers as a home for their ads and scams. It was bound to happen.of the 7,000 new blogs started each day, nearly 10% are now splogs. (from Buzzword.com) 
 Good Night and Good Luck, directed by George Clooney. What I like about it: It's a terrific production that perfectly conjures up the feeling of the early fifties from the perspective of the CBS TV newsroom, when legendary newsman Edward R. Murrow took on McCarthy and McCarthyism. The film's message about what happens
when the media allows itself to be intimidated by those in power could not be more timely.
Beth Bloomfield
Executive Coach, Strategy Consultant
Principal, Bloomfield Associates
 Brighter than a Thousand Suns, by Robert Jungk. What I like about it:
The true story of the parade of physicists (German and otherwise) who "discovered" nuclear fission only to have the "invention" used (initially) for warfaring.
John Coleman
Retired Engineer
Johns Hopkins Applied Physics Lab Share what you're into - books, articles, movies, music, websites - with others on the list! Send us
the title and author or other pertinent information, along with a sentence or two on what you like about it, and if we use it in A Different Optic we'll not only quote you, we'll provide a link to you or your website. |
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"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still."
- Lao Tzu | | Do you know someone else who might be interested in reading this? Send it to them now by clicking here.
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If you're wondering what's happening with the next running of Beth's popular teleclinic "Build Your Executive Coaching Practice," we've decided to schedule that for after New Year's. And, we're thinking about revamping the format and some of the
material to give you an even better learning experience. If you're on this newsletter subscriber list, you'll get an announcement with specific details and a link to online registration. If you want to know more now, please contact Beth at (410) 626-6008. | | |
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